Why The Hell Aren’t These X-Men In ‘Marvel Snap’ Already?

Wildly popular digital collectible card game “Marvel Snap” is constantly getting new cards — at least one a week. It’s kept that cadence up since launch, but with the notable name brand characters left dwindling, I am still puzzled at who we’re seeing recently.

This is the third part in an ongoing series where I attempt to predict, or at the very least try and force into existence, all of the characters yet to arrive in the game. And today’s edition is mutantkind only!

Important X-Men / Brotherhood of Mutants Missing From the Game

Some of the following characters are villains, some are more obscure heroes from the later X-Men teams, and a lot of these characters have been significant in their inclusions of both television and film. But they all share a commonality: not being in “Marvel Snap” somehow!

Toad — A staple of Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants, he appears on the cartoon series, he’s in a lot of the old comic runs, and ,of course, he’s very well known for being the punching bag in the first “X-Men” film. Why he isn’t in “Snap” to use his tongue and fling around cards in a move deck is beyond me.
Pyro — Same goes for Pyro, who comes in two distinct flavors: moody teenager from “X2” and “Deadpool and Wolverine,” or the badass cartoon/comics version with the cool outfit and flamethrowers on his arms. I love that version. Give me a variant of that reminiscent from the arcade game.

Spiral — If you played a lot of high level “Marvel vs. Capcom 2” you might be familiar with Spiral, the multi-armed woman who tosses knives out like her life depends on it. Well, in that game it does. Spiral is a very visually unique enemy to be included in a game where its economy is based around new artwork to entice the player to spend on how card art looks.
Marrow and Callisto — The boney bad guy with the short red hair. Reminds me of Annie Lennox from Eurythmics. She’s the more famous of the two here, both are prominent members of the Morlocks, which aren’t represented in the game yet. But sign me up for some kickass women from the Chris Claremont era of the X-Men.
Azazel — He and Mystique had a blue baby named Nightcrawler, who can also teleport and has a tail. But Azazel has other powers, none of which are as memorable as the teleporting. He was a cool background character in “X-Men: First Class” standing behind Kevin Bacon as an enforcer, and I can see him being a bigger stats version of Nightcrawler.

Caliban — The pale, bald weirdo from “Logan” played wonderfully by Stephen Merchant, Caliban is able to sense other mutants (amongst other powers depending on what issue you read). Maybe he could be a better version of Howard the Duck or Uatu, a card who is able to sense what’s coming up next but isn’t just a horrible 1-drop. That would be nice!
Darwin — Why Second Dinner put Prodigy into “Snap” and not Darwin is another confusing move. He got GOT in “First Class,” and deserves to have his time in the limelight! How he ended up dying in that movie is so ridiculous, he should be able to adapt to anything and survive.

Banshee — The X-Men version of the Inhuman’s Blackbolt, Banshee has a hellish scream that can do a lot of damage. He’s got an indelible green and yellow costume with the underarm wings, a suit that screams to be included in the game. (*audience boos and throws tomatoes*) Oh well I tried.
The Blackbird — This is the sick jetplane that the X-Men fly around in, sometimes to go to missions and sometimes to launch into space to fight Phoenix. If the Quinjet and Helicarrier can be inanimate object vehicles in “Snap” why can’t the Blackbird get some love too?
Lockheed — Kitty Pryde’s little pet dragon that rides around with her on her shoulder. Like a pirate’s pet parrot, Lockheed should probably be included as a unique card apart from Kitty. People love the animals in this game, like Cosmo the dog and Jeff the baby land shark.

William Stryker — The villain from “X2” played by Brian Cox, he’s responsible for putting Wolverine in the Weapon X program. This character would be recast in the god-awful “Origins: Wolverine,” but he’s still an integral part to the Logan mythos.
Senator Robert Kelly — This is the scumbag politician who hates mutants so much, he tries to pass legislation against them! And then in the first movie he gets turned into a water fish blob monster thing and gets his comeuppance. Wouldn’t it be cool if the card turned him into this thing, as an ability?

Karima Shapandar/Omega Sentinel — How many characters has Chris Claremont given us? He’s all over this list. Karima Shapandar is an Indian detective who turns into the ultimate mutant-hunting Sentinel, but one that is objectively hotter than the normal Sentinel robot. People love horny, hot female-presenting robots. What can I say?
All of X-Force (Stryfe, Tank, Siryn, Pete Wisdom, Fire Fist, Shatterstar, Boom-Boom, Bedlam, etc.) — You could do an entire season dedicated to various members of X-Force. This is the team that’s sometimes led by Cable or Deadpool. Sometimes it’s serious, but other times it’s purely a goof for comedic purposes. Lots of cards in the game were a part of X-Force, like Forge, Sage, and Surge, but there are so many others to include with ridiculous names/powers/outfits that there could be a really fun season for this squad.
Proteus/Mutant X — Moira MacTaggert’s son, this is one of the most powerful mutants ever created… oh of course by Chris Claremont lol what a legend. Moira herself is (leaked) coming to the game later this year, so that suggests the inclusion of Proteus and possibly Joe MacTaggert her politician husband.
Corsair/Chris Summers, Askani/Rachel Summers/Askani, and Vulcan/Gabriel Summers — Scott Summers and Jean Grey give birth to many important mutants, so why not have an entire season dedicated to them? Throw in some Hope Summers variant art for the season pass, and X-Men freaks like me will be happier than pigs in shit. Vulcan especially needs to be in the game, that’s unacceptable to not have him in there already.

Donald Pierce/Reavers — Finally, the cyborg from “Logan” is a much bigger character in the comics who leads the Reavers to destroy the X-Men. You could include a bunch of these weirdos, but the leader is the one I would go with, considering Lady Deathstrike is already in the game (and she’s quite underrated as a tech card).

Image credit: “X-Men: The Last Stand“