We’ve been in a Metal Gear desert for a long time. Even if we’re counting the abysmal “Metal Gear Survive” spin-off, it’s been seven long years since we’ve had a proper installment in the long-running series.

I desperately wanted this “Snake Eater” remake to revitalize Metal Gear as a major franchise, but after playing quite a bit of this game, I don’t know if it has the juice. At its core, this is basically the original PS2 game with different controller mapping and modern visuals. The weird quirks that made it special are still there to enjoy, but the fiddly combat is as well.

There’s a lot of warm nostalgia here for people who care deeply about the franchise, but I can’t imagine this serves as a solid entry point for new fans. If this is what’s suppose to bring the franchise back to relevance, I don’t think fetch is gonna happen.

There has been plenty of Sturm und Drang on forums regarding how some of the visual choices of the original have been stripped out in favor of bland “realism,” and I am sympathetic to their argument. Some of the flare of the art direction is lost in this re-imagining, but that’s not even what hurts me the most: It plays worse than the extant bare bones HD remaster.

The worst part is that the performance mode on consoles is fairly busted. It’s far from being unplayable, but the frame rate drops hard enough to register stutters in busy moments. I’m not obsessed with frame rates as what makes or breaks a game, but it is bad enough to actually diminish the feel of what is basically a dolled-up PS2 game.

I pray that they can get that smoothed out one way or the other.

At the end of the day, this is a modern-looking game that doesn’t feel modern at all. It’s the minimum viable product for $70 and nothing more. It’s an excuse to play through a pretty sick game from the Bush Administration, but the franchise isn’t “back” like I had hoped.

I’m sure Konami will end up giving the same treatment to other games in the series, but what I really want is a regular-ass port of “Metal Gear Solid 4” on modern platforms. Release that game from PS3 jail! Free Old Snake!

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“Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater” is available on PS5, Xbox Series X/S, and PC.

Image credit: “Metal Gear Solid Delta,” Konami