Notoriously, I don’t care about sports. Sure, I edit Jared’s various sports posts, but I do so out of a professional obligation rather than an eager interest in the balls and those who kick them the best. I don’t root for a team, catch the big game, or touch any of the loathsome sports betting platforms.
I’m also pretty much allergic to jingoism of any type. Outside of demanding that the UK lose every time on principle, I don’t really have skin in the game of which country comes out on top in any kind of competition. If anything, I’d rather have some small country walk away with a fat W.
All of that is to say that it’s bizarre how much I love the Olympics. I’m not chanting “U! S! A!” I’m not sweating the round robin results. I honestly don’t even know how the ice dancing is scored, but I enjoy it all. Every two years, I inevitably bite the bullet, and subscribe to Peacock for a whole month just for the joy of the Olympic Games.
But Why?
I think there are three parts to this answer:
First, my wife thoroughly enjoys the events, and she’s much more willing to get caught up in the excitement of big plays than I am. It’s neat to watch her hoot and holler.
Second, there’s something I find incredibly soothing about putting on a three-hour replay where people are just milling around half the time. The low-intensity background noise that I can tune in and out of at will really helps calm my overworked noodle.
Finally, there are loads of cultural excitement and memes that penetrate my thick social media shell. If people are dunking on some football player, I’m never ever going to hear about it, but my attention is focused on the Olympics during this short period of time.
The Good Stuff
Emma Maltais? Emma Maltais! This Canadian hockey player’s pronunciation won the hearts and minds of TikTok, and I still hear her voice in my head randomly throughout the day.
The entire internet is enamored with Alysa Liu. Not only did she win, but her big personality shines through whenever she’s on camera. Skating, celebrating, or simply doing interviews, her confidence and charisma are palpable.
Penisgate. It’s possible that some Olympians are injecting stuff into their dicks for an edge. Now that’s dedication.
As I understand it, every sports lover needs someone to hate. Right? This time, it seems to be the Canadian men’s curling team.
Flame On
The 2026 games are over, but I’m looking forward to the Paralympic games in early March. Much of the internet’s attention will shift away, sadly, but I’ll still be getting my fix.
Image credit: gomontgenevre
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