Citizens of Video Game Town, I know you love the Eeveelutions. So do I — I ranked them last year, though my number one constantly fluctuates between Flareon and Espeon. I’m sure you all have a favorite or one you most relate to, but have you ever wondered which one you are in your soul?

And by that I mean, according to my vague assessment of the general vibes you and each of these element-themed cat/puppy/fox things give off? Well, I have a good old-fashioned quiz for you. Tally up your responses to the questions below to discover which Pokémon suits you best.

1. Pick a condiment:

A. Ketchup

B. Dijon mustard

C. Sriracha

D. Thousand Island 

E. Aoili

F. BBQ sauce

G. Soy sauce

H. Hummus

I. Whipped cream

2. Where is your dream vacation?

A. Disney World

B. Australia

C. Rome

D. A cruise of the Mediterranean 

E. Paris

F. New York or LA

G. Anywhere totally off the grid

H. A safari in Kenya

I. To see the northern lights

3. What annoys you the most?

A. When my friends don’t get along

B. Slow walkers or drivers

C. Snow

D. Chapped lips

E. No WiFi

F. Internet trolls

G. When people don’t understand my sarcasm

H. People who litter

I. Being sweaty

4. Which animal do you like best?

A. Dog

B. Cat

C. Fox

D. Dolphin

E. Horse

F. Tiger

G. Bat

H. Owl

I. Bear

5. Pick a music girlie:

A. Taylor Swift

B. Miley Cyrus

C. Hayley Williams

D. Dua Lipa

E. Chappell Roan

F. Lady Gaga

G. Lana Del Rey

H. Olivia Dean

I. Rihanna

6. It’s the weekend. What are you doing?

A. Movies with my best friend and then a bubble bath

B. Working out and then getting sushi

C. Having a romantic date night and staying up late doomscrolling every night

D. Going to the beach and playing with my pet

E. Going to drag brunch and then shopping with a big group of friends

F. Jetting off somewhere fabulous for the weekend and posting about it on Insta

G. Sleeping and gaming

H. Reading and gardening

I. Music festival one day, bed rotting and binging Netflix the next

7. Pick a non-Pokémon video game franchise:

A. “Animal Crossing”

B. “Call of Duty”

C.  “Super Smash Bros.”

D. “Wave Race”

E. “Roblox”

F. “Legend of Zelda”

G. “Castlevania”

H. “Stardew Valley”

I. “SSX”

8. Pick a way to get your exercise:

A. Spin class

B. Running

C. Hot yoga

D. Swimming

E. Pickleball

F. Pilates

G. Skateboarding

H. Hiking

I. I lift, bro

9. Pick a Studio Ghibli movie:

A. My Neighbor Totoro

B. Princess Mononoke

C. Castle In The Sky

D. Ponyo

E. Kiki’s Delivery Service

F. Howl’s Moving Castle

G. Spirited Away

H. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

I. Porco Rosso

10. Pick a Normal-type Pokémon (besides Eevee):

A. Jigglypuff

B. Tauros

C. Snorlax

D. Porygon

E. Chansey

F. Ditto

G. Meowth

H. Farfetch’d

I. Bidoof

---

Results, I choose you!

Mostly As: You’re Eevee!

Some may call you a basic bitch, but I think you’re basically the cutest and the best. You are sweet, kind, fun-loving, and a true classic. You like popular things because they’re popular for a reason! You also give great hugs.

Mostly Bs: You’re Jolteon!

You’re a cutie patootie with an edge and a daredevil streak. You’re athletic, an all-around badass, and ~shockingly~ cool. You always participate in the Electric Slide at weddings and bar mitzvahs.

Mostly Cs: You’re Flareon!

You’re like if Sour Patch Kids were Spicy Patch Kids — first you’re spicy, then you’re sweet. You’re always sending your friends FIRE memes, you went through a hipster phase in the 2010s and an emo kid phase before that, and now you know who you are and stay true to yourself (all while swearing a lot).

Mostly Ds: You’re Vaporeon!

You always want to be in the water or somewhere tropical, and you’re the life of the party once you’re there in your element. You’ve seen the movie Aquamarine an embarrassing number of times, and you own at least five swimsuits. Also, you have a very cute smile.

Mostly Es: You’re Sylveon!

Glitter runs through your veins. You’re a social butterfly and incredibly kind and accepting of everyone. It is highly likely you were a theater kid, but you somehow managed to avoid all the drama. You light up every room, and not just because you usually bring homemade baked goods, but because you are a bubbly sweetie pie who wears adorable outfits.

Mostly Fs: You’re Espeon!

You are serving ‘See You Next Tuesday,’ if you know what I mean. You are graceful, elegant, sophisticated, and the person everyone looks up to. Your style is matched by your wit, and though you can seem mysterious at times, you have a very warm heart. You’re quiet until you get to know someone, and then you’re loyal to them for life.

Mostly Gs: You’re Umbreon!

You have never left your emo kid phase, but you’re not as enigmatic as you seem. You enjoy a quiet life with only your nearest and dearest, and love to relax with some moody music and a good game. Your love language is making people mixtapes of weird, sad music that only you understand, and Halloween is your favorite holiday. You rock a motorcycle jacket like nobody’s business.

Mostly Hs: You’re Leafeon!

You’re a passionate friend to the environment and care deeply about social justice. You make equally great protest signs and banana bread. You’re quiet in social situations, but loud in the best way when the topic of climate change comes up. You’re super smart and excelled in school, and are the best person to come to for advice.

Mostly Is: You’re Glaceon!

What’s cooler than being cool? You are! You can be hard to figure out sometimes, but that just makes you seem even cooler, tbh. You’re active and strong and very passionate about your handful of niche interests. You may come off cold sometimes, but that’s just because you are often deep in thought and have a complex inner life. You probably have bangs and always will, because you pull them off.

---

Image Credit: “Pokemon Pokopia”