If you’re reading this right now, then I hope you know all about “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.” To the laymen, it’s colloquially known as “MXC” and is heavily based on B-roll of “Takeshi’s Castle.” This beloved comedy is primarily just dubbed commentary voiceover from comedians over ’80s Japanese game show footage, but it aired at the right time and on the right channel: the early 2000s on Spike TV, the network for men! “MXC” ran for a glorious five seasons, 81 episodes in all, from 2003-2007. Does it hold up? Yes, of course. Is it racist? A little, in spots.

Again, it was the Bush era. The most popular things in America were mixed martial arts, “24,” and hating Muslims. It was a bad time for everyone and everything.

It’s still one of my favorite TV shows of all time and a cult classic, which shaped my sense of humor today sans the racism. And if you’d ever seen, it you’d know immediately what it entails and why it’s so special. Not even the modern likes of “Wipeout” or “Ninja Warrior” can do its offbeat brand of satire, goofy voices, strange jokes, clever word play, gleeful puns, and preposterous game show footage nearly as well. Technically, no other show attempts to do any of those things besides the game show part, but that’s only half the reason you watch. The real reason you watch is to see what insane shit the writers got the voice actors to say.

Those poor Japanese contestants have no idea what American audiences think they’re saying.

Normally I would have just ranked them all, but there were a staggering 70+ games in total between the original broadcasts and the re-edits. My dream is an overwhelming one, but has already been done by YouTubers who somehow got all the footage without being sued. So I narrowed my top 75 or so down to a top 50. The criteria for the games are as follows:

• Is it fun to watch? Is it a game that lends itself to humor? How funny will it be if it comes on?
• How much potential pain and suffering can come from such a game? How dangerous is it, and should it even be allowed to air on broadcast TV in any language or country?
• Could I pull that off? Would that be fun or frightening?
• How often are you on “MXC” matters a ton here. Repeated showings gets bonus points.
• Is your game’s name funny? And can Vic and Kenny make a lot of jokes about what’s going on? This will be more for the games on the bottom of the list than the top.
• And are you constantly changing your name or the props or the set or the aesthetics to match a holiday or whatever? Like a snow themed version, for instance.

If you’d like to check my work, here is the full list and another one here with pictures! It’s pretty comprehensive, considering there is unused material from the original “Takeshi’s Castle” and who knows what is spliced up in the edit for “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.” But for now, here are my 50 best, ranked in order, and I hope you agree enough with my top choice that no one will leave nasty comments or spam my Blue Sky profile with rage inducing replies or DMs.

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#50 – Finger It! (Ro-Jim-Bo)

I picked this one just for the name. And that’s it.

#49 – Shaft Grabbers/Mounting the Spike (Flag Down)

Two teams compete to get a flag on the top of a pole. Some very funny imagery can come from seeing the guards work together to beat the contestants.

#48 – Backyard Bocce Ball Bloodbath (The Fortress)

Some great context-less B-roll footage with this one. And of course, the name is incredible. Ultimately, this is a wacky starting game and just good for a laugh at the beginning of the episode.

#47 – Athlete’s Feet (Foot Loose)

A ton of competitors run out and have to cross the line wearing shoes. I think it’s a lot of fun to watch! The one time I saw it.

#46 – Get a Piece (Animuddle)

The biggest disappointment when it comes to what this game is on paper (giant jigsaw puzzle pieces with animals!) to its execution on screen. A bummer.

#45 – Hand Job/Swift Hand Cards (Show of Hands)

It is fun to see giant hand costumes all dogpile onto each other, but after a few it gets old. Plus, I don’t know what the cards that they’re belly flopping onto say.

#44 – Endangering Species (Extinction)

This one never aired more than once or twice, but is a fun one to watch for the guards dressing like animals. And sometimes their heads get knocked off!

#43- Battlefelch Earth/Character Assassination (Space Invaders)

This is the coolest looking game that is more of a visual treat than an actual competition that you can see yourself playing. No injuries, no storytelling, no stunts; just laser beams and some jokes from the hosts.

#42 – Get Hard (Mudskippers)

Seeing so many people slog through mud is a sight to behold. Once. Otherwise, this is just for Kenny Blankenship to be thirsty for wet shirts. And for Guy, too, I guess. He’s horny for all humans.

#41 – Bust A Nut/Nut Baggers/Salty Nut Sackers (Go Nuts)

Go Nuts seems like a lot of fun. Having your feet tied together is tough, but it’s not like the track is being pelted with soccer balls or guards.

#40 – Bird Droppings (Big Bird)

I wish we saw more ridiculous costumes on contestants, although it must have been a real pain to set up when filming. The type of game that ranks highly are those where you’re on a rope of some sort and have to swing to either hit something, land on something, or throw a ball into a basket. In this case, it’s a baby bird into a nest, but this is very difficult because you’re using your feet (which are talons).

#39 – Jerk and Release/Porking the Barrel (Sling Swing Fling)

This would be a potential top 20 pick, if only they didn’t play it like once in the show’s history. I needed way more of this! Another one of the “swing” type games that I adore (like above).

#38 – Bagel Bumpers/Sack Lunch (Bite the Bun)

A lot of jokes came from watching people in giant brown paper bags try and eat hot dogs or bagels with their mouths. Like bobbing for apples in barrels, but up instead of down.

#37 – Chum in the Mouth (Fish Food)

A conveyor belt game hates to see me coming, because I eat that shit up for breakfast. Love a game that’s on an automatically moving track, and while the best are often on surfboards or rotating platforms, in this case the star is the giant foam shark mouth that will knock people off.

#36 – Swamp Gassers/Gang Plankers (Bridge the Gap)

Elements of this moving plank game show up elsewhere (in smaller or different forms) but all you need to do is make one good step and you’re golden. Would be a blast to try IRL, and only leads to one type of spill into the water, but I love thinking about the designers who had to make this all happen for the show.

#35 – Yankin’ It/Yank ‘Em (Tug of War)

A similar type of game to this is the sumo wrestling one, where you draw your opponent randomly and have to win in a feat of strength. I do love seeing two guys in an elephant outfit on the other end of the rope, that delights me to no end.

#34 – Crossing the Pee-o Grande/Crossing the Poo-Tomac (Muddy Waters)

This gets ranked highly because I love the puns. It’s a basic race through a long stretch of water but man, are those two excellent names.

#33 – Ball Busters (Home Run)

Ball Busters has elements that get recycled for other games (like Dash to Death and Big Brass Balls). The contestants wear those big ass baseball league uniform outfits (a staple of the show) and have to avoid three wrecking balls being swung by the guards. Simple, clever, and funny. And the theming is perfect.

#32 – Spare Me!/Pinheads (Skittles)

This is bowling, but with a human on the inside of the bowling ball. Or a hockey puck. I thought “MXC” should have used this footage way more, but ultimately a better version is ranked higher (when you get to it, you’ll know).

#31 – Little Man in the Boat (Slip Way)

Get a running start, slide on a boogey board on a conveyor belt, and see if you can stop right before you fall off. A great game that I would love to do, if only I didn’t fall into the dirty water after totally whiffing.

#30 – Plank Spankers (Walk the Plank)

This shit is devious. Two contestants have to time their walks along a bunch of see-saw planks in water. It’s doable, but clearly the reason we tune in is to see couples fail and either get injured or start yelling at each other.

#29 – Slippery Slope of Slanted Death (Slippery Wall)

Another type of game where tons of people have to run up an incline to get to the other side. This time, it’s a slicked slanted wall with ropes. Reminds me of when troops in basic training have to get up a greased pole. It’s comical but I would never be caught dead doing something so stupid and messy.

#28 – Sperm Wheelers (Ride the Wave)

Anything with a bike I’m such a sucker for. This ridiculously awesome sperm whale outfit makes riding on the tiny race track hilarious and very evil. I can see so many ankles being broken after this one, and I find the trolling a delight to watch.

#27 – Circle Jerkers (Sumo Rings)

A classic, Circle Jerkers might not be the flashiest or the game you most want to compete in, but man is it schadenfreude to see those dopes get mauled by pro sumo wrestlers.

#26 – The Frigid Slope of Icy Death (Toboggoff)

A toboggan down a snowy hill seems like clean fun, but when you go too fast and are required to stay on your little donut without any help…good luck not getting flung off and hurt. The snow ones are great, like Snow Lane (an obstacle course in the snow). I love those episodes.

#25 – Dead End Zone (Grid Iron/Longest Yard)

This one ranks so high purely based on me wanting to do it (run with a football through defenders with limited mobility) and also the pure American curiosity of seeing how other countries treat our favorite sport.

#24 – Irritable Bowl Syndrome/Hot Steaming Bowl of Love (Rice Bowl Down Hill)

Basically the same game as the toboggan one, but better. The unstable rice bowl is a brilliant premise for a game, and all the more fun when two people are in there and have to not tip over.

#23 – Buck Off! (Dino Ride)

Ride the mechanical bull………I mean dinosaur, use the water pistol to spray the flying bat, or lose. Falling off is also losing, if you don’t hit the bat you lose, and if Guy LeDouche makes fun of you, yep, you also lose.

#22 – Sprayed and Neutered/Slipped Disks of Doom (Whack the Stack)

This shit looks dangerous. A kid sits on top of a pile of discs designed to be smacked with a large mallet by the parent. The child has to jump and time it right for the top and bottom ones to remain stacked, while the middle discs are flung elsewhere. What a brilliant and fucked up game to make kids and parents go through.

#21- Mud Butlers (Ball Cupping)

I have no idea how people win this game, because it seems close to impossible. You just have to stand in the middle, pray the ball lands near you, and dive to catch the thing in your tiny bucket while landing in some sludge and getting a face full of the nastiest shit imaginable. Not my favorite to watch, but undeniably a fan favorite.

#20 – Dirty Muddy Balls/Dry Balls/Mud Slingers/High Ballers/Catch Hell/Foul Balls/Spit Ball (Catch It)

Catch the ball. That’s the goal, and the different ways they mix this one up is the key to why it’s so watchable. Also seeing the ball hit people’s faces, and seeing them whiff on dives. That’s the good shit.

#19 – Le Tour de Grand Prix (On Yer Bike)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for little tricycles. This race is so funny to me, and lots of versions of it have appeared high on this list (Sperm Wheelers, and later on Saddle Sores).

#18 – Yank My Dinghy (Jetskid)

They really should have done this more on the program. It seems way too liable for litigation, because the way these fools’ heads bang against the board or water is PAINFUL. How they land on that finishing platform is beyond me, but this is a sick game for sickos and I for one am all for it.

#17 – Wall Buggers/Window Pain/Flailing Wall/Sticky Stuff of Love/Wall Maim (Velcro Fly)

I’m combining so many velcro games here, and ones with ropes, but they all fit into the same category of “let me try that right now” and “didn’t Letterman do this in the ’80s?” The costuming, the humor, the spills, and the way you’ll shout at your TV because people let go of the rope way too soon all make for some entertaining fails and uproarious successes.

#16 – Eat Shiitake (Mushroom Trip) or Corn Holders (Corn Cob Trip)

Spin to win, hold on for dear life, and land on the tiny platform. It makes me dizzy seeing this, but I’ll never not be tickled by the name Eat Shiitake. I want that giant mushroom in my house to hug.

#15 – Runaway Stump (Single Roller)

A top three hardest game of all time, this requires an insane amount of balance, coordination, and luck. Most of the time, and I mean MOST, the person just fucks up immediately and either faceplants into the ugly water or falls on their ass. The result, no matter the person, is always entertaining. Seeing them win is astonishing, and if they lose you’ll just say “glad I’m not doing that.”

#14 – Clear Sphere of Fear (Indestruct-a-Ball)

A psycho game for psychos, the contestant is squeezed into a morph ball and is asked to become Samus. How they can influence where they end up is a mystery, but this seems cruel and hard to win. I think they stopped doing this early on, which is why they didn’t air many versions of it on “MXC” but the good people at “Takeshi’s Castle” had some twisted concepts for games, and I for one applaud them.

#13 – Pole Riders (Poles Apart)

This entry at #13 might be controversial, because it’s a classic, and people love it, but it got way too much play on-air compared to some other stuff. Once you’ve seen a guy fail to pole vault once, you’ve seen it every other time until one lands it. But I have to respect the elder statesmen of the show and this is obviously one of them.

#12 – Tumbling Dominoes of Doom/Teetering Temple of Crumbling Death/Nerve Racketeering Slabs of Death/Take It Snow (Dominoes)

This is the single hardest game in all of “MXC” to win, bar none. Running atop like 25 dominoes as they all fall, hopping and sprinting to not fall down and break your back HAS to suck. So I salute every major injury and broken bone that comes from these idiots attempting such a clearly impossible task. The snowman version of this is also nuts.

#11 – Boulder Dash/Impassable Stones of Mount McKidney (Avalanche)

There is no more embarrassing or humiliating punishment than having a giant (fake) boulder roll over you as you fall down a (fake) mountain in agony and pain. And every single time this comes on, my eyes are glued. It would suck to have to run up that hill and push a guy out of the way to not be crushed, but I will always enjoy it from my couch watching it on TV.

#10 – Prison Break/Wall of Hidden/Blistering Death/Get Over It/Hosin’ the Ho’s (The Great Wall)

A common opening game, this is meant to weed out those who are clearly not ready to advance. It breaks the mentally and physically weak amongst the crowds, and hundreds fail to make it over the wall every episode. But it never ceases to make me smile and giggle, seeing the chaos that comes out of people who get a running start and just fail to make it.

#9 – Door Jam/In and Outhouse/Legal Maze/A Mazing Grace (Honeycomb Maze/The Devil’s Domain)

The maze is something all humans love. A hedge maze, a corn maze, a maze on coloring paper in a restaurant. They’re fascinating and hypnotizing, because our primordial brains will always think “how do I get out of here?” and “who the fuck made this?” And when seen from above, it can also inspire, thrill, or terrify. Especially when you can fall into dirty ass water being pushed by a body builder wearing a Halloween costume. I unabashedly love these maze games, but can understand why some don’t: it’s all luck!

#8 – Dash to Death (The Gauntlet)

Clearly based off of the original “Super Mario Bros.” game, Dash to Death is a bunch of stupid ideas cobbled together into an iconic mess of design and goofs. So many of these obstacles are easy on their own, but coupled together there are tons of ways to fail, and plenty of ways to hurt yourself for our entertainment. I’ve always wanted a go at this, but maybe in my old age of 35 I should stop wanting to spend thousands to set this up in my backyard.

#7 – Dope on a Rope/Hook Line and Swingers/Swish Bucklers/Drop Dead Line (Dragon Lake)

Tarzan swung from vine to vine. And MXC contestants swung from rope to platform. We don’t have a modern example outside of maybe Spider-Man, but I have always wanted to try out these swinging games. They might not create the best injuries, but it’s always thrilling to see midair where the competitors will land and if they’ll make it. For a split second, they might! But most fail and land in the water or mud.

#6 – Saddle Sores/Dark Horse Race (Roller Derby)

If this was on almost every episode, it would be number one. But I understand why it could not be on most episodes because it seems impossible to set up, impossible to get people to do it, and you would just get horribly mangled inside of that outfit. The roller skates lead to some of the best physical comedy on the show, and the most cruel (but hysterical) joke is when you hear shotgun blasts after some horses fall down off-screen. A brilliant game, and I smile from ear to ear every time it shows up.

#5 – Big Brass Balls (Bridge Ball)

For as much as I didn’t want this to make the top five, I think the amount of times a person got hit in the face with a ball shot at them at warp speed, and then falling into a net really convinced me to cement this as one of the best games on MXC. It’s impossibly hard to pull off, and I would never try it, but seeing the few rare winners is honestly astonishing.

#4 – Rotating Surfboard of Death (Wipe Out)

Another silly, wacky, ridiculous game that MXC invented, the Rotating Surfboard of Death is a standard bearer and go-to game for a lot of episodes. The characters on both platforms (Captain Tenneal and the rainbow mustache man), the goofy looking pink heads to jump over, and the constantly renamed toxic sludge (aka water) the competitors fall into are all brilliant additions. I would most want to play this game, if I were on the show. And I would crush it like a grape.

#3 – Log Drop (High Rollers)

This might be the most controversial pick on this list, because it isn’t at number one or two. And I understand why people would be upset, but outside of seeing people win (miraculously) or get horribly hurt, I just think it’s been copied too much by the likes of “Wipeout” and I would NEVER want to attempt this. Ever. This is for psychopaths and narcissists only. No thanks.

#2 – Wall Bangers/Door Slammers/Great Holes of Glory (Knock Knock)

Several doors, all lined up. Some open easily. Others are a hard wall or are hiding a net behind it. It’s your job to run at full speed and guess randomly, injuries be damned. And this is maybe the most iconic game in “Fall Guys” but we all know where they got it from. The idea started with “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.” Wall Bangers is almost my favorite game in the entire show’s history. Which means it’s my second favorite, technically. I just love it to death.

#1 – Sinkers and Floaters/Rock the Moat (Skipping Stones)

The single most iconic game from “Takeshi’s Castle” and “MXC,” Sinkers and Floaters is the best to watch, the best to try your hand at, and the best for injuries. Nothing compares to the people who try and fly through this and land their stomachs on their rocks, or face plant onto the water. And it’s also fun to see timid people go really slowly and just pick wrong, and end up drowning. This is my favorite, and clearly the obvious choice for number one. There was no debate or discussion, and nothing came close. When people think about MXC, they think about this first and foremost.