We already know who won every E3 from its beginning through 2004, but now’s the time to tackle E3 at its peak. Who will come out on top? Certainly not the poor people who had to cover these events in real time — I’ll tell you that.

Who won E3 2005?

I might get a lot of shit for this, especially in retrospect, but it’s impossible not to think Sony single-handedly won the “next generation” with these graphics, at the time. Of course,

This shit looks good now! This was the most-discussed thing all E3, which is saying something because it competed with the Xbox 360 and “Gears of War,” the Nintendo Revolution and “Twilight Princess,” and that fake “FF7” tech demo that would spark the idea of a remake a decade-plus later.

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Who won E3 2006?

I’ll tell you who didn’t win: Sony.

Who did win? Microsoft. Why? LET’S BRING BACK PETER MOORE’S GUNS, BABY!

Many words on the internet have been written about Sony’s infamous 2006 press conference. I won’t bother to spend time dismantling it or the PS3’s price. And I also won’t get into the announcement of the Wii’s official name. I can vividly remember being on a basketball court when I found out and calling everyone in my address book to dunk on how bad of a name it was. It still is, by the way.

But the Xbox 360 was out, people bought it, and it had “Halo 3,” “Mass Effect,” “Dead Rising,” and now “GTA IV.” I decided to change allegiances from my beloved PS2 to a 360, and it was a really heavy, important decision to make at the time. My friends list mattered, the controller mattered, the price mattered, and looking back, I made the right choice. The PS3 was a shit show for many years, and you might have well skipped that generation and played the exclusives on the much-superior PS4 instead.

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Who won E3 2007?

Ubisoft and the original teaser for “Assassin’s Creed.”

It was much easier back in the day for a single game reveal to “win” the E3 hype, rather than us grading all the press conferences. And Ubisoft, when they were presumably housing some real creeps, managed to spoil the twist to “AC1’s” premise.

Did that slow down the hype train from leaving the station? Not one bit. The demo got everyone talking — including Shigeru Miyamoto, who attended a demonstration of the game at the Ubi booth. No word on if he was sexually harassed by any executives there, though.

Shout outs to Reggie and his body being ready, Jaime Kennedy at Activision, and Peter Moore playing “Rock Band” and accidentally pausing the game mid-song.

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Won Won E3 2008?

Microsoft for nabbing another exclusive franchise from Sony’s gargantuan stockpile of third-party IPs.

I started watching E3 in the early 2000’s on G4, so I did, in fact, watch every second of footage from this E3. However, upon revisiting the press conference videos and reading about the games shown off, I have no recollection of anything Nintendo nor Sony did besides that really cool “God of War III” trailer.

But I think this was a slam dunk for Xbox; they had “Gears of War 2,” “Castle Crashers,” “Fallout 3,” and a third “Banjo-Kazooie” game! It was okay, I liked it, but a vehicle-building game and not a platformer? Who the fuck decided that? The same person who approved of a Jak and Daxter racing game? The fuck?

Also, Nintendo had that “Wii Music” demo. Enough said.

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Who Won E3 2009?

This was the hardest choice to make so far, because initially on reading the list of announcements, I thought it was Microsoft. They had a good show! Minus the “bottom of an Avatar’s shoe” thing. A ton of games, the fucking Beatles showed up, it was amazing.

Apparently, the internet remembers Sony’s showing to be the better of the two. Circa 2009, the PSP Go was hip and cool, and games for it were also in demand. Weird to type that out — no one bought a PSP Go. C’mon now.

This was the year that “Scribblenauts” won Game of the Show — I remember that being a huge deal. I also very vividly remember Xbox coming out strong with “Halo Reach,” the Milo Project Natal demo, “Alan Wake,” and “Modern Warfare 2.”

But Sony had that “God of War III” trailer, “The Last Guardian,” and “Uncharted 2.” That’s hard to beat. Those games were gigantic back then, and the hype levels were off the charts. As good as Microsoft’s showing was, Sony was able to build some serious momentum behind them. Nintendo had nothing, let’s ignore them for now and say Sony and Microsoft tied. Congrats?

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Who Won E3 2010?

No one?

You can make a case for every show, honestly, but this was one of the worst years I’ve seen in my life. Microsoft had the typical sequels, but that awful Kinect showcase really stunk the joint up (and would helpsink their next console). Nintendo had “Kirby’s Epic Yarn,” “Donkey Kong Country Returns,” and the 3DS reveal, but the terrible motion controls on “Skyward Sword” was just too awkward for me. It had an air of cringe then, and turned out to be a disaster now. And don’t get me started on “Metroid Other M.”

Sony had some nice surprises with Gabe Newell and “Portal 2,” Kevin Butler showing up, and the big “Twisted Metal” psyche-out. But otherwise, it was a boring showing. Too long, and chock full of bullshit. Konami shit the bed with an infamous presser, EA showed “Dead Space 2” (and then immediately killed the franchise afterward), and Ubisoft had nothing. I might say Nintendo came out ahead barely, but I can’t stomach most of their nonsense: “Wii Party,” that disgusting “GoldenEye” remake, or “Nintendogs and Cats.” A really bad show besides Kirby and DK.

Just pathetic stuff without that 3DS reveal.

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Who Won E3 2011?

No one, again? How is that possible?

Honestly, I think I might give it to EA, out of everyone. Sony was close, they had some good stuff to show like a new Sly Cooper game, but all of the announcements were either leaked or well known ahead of time. And the line-up for EA was on fire! “Mass Effect 3,” “Star Wars The Old Republic,” “Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning,” and “Battlefield 3.”

That’s a fucking good slate, and I don’t care if half of those games turned out to be bad. In the moment, which I was in, it was hella hype.

And lest we forget to mention Mr. Caffeine. Yeesh.

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Who Won E3 2012?

Ubisoft and that god damn glorious “Watch Dogs” demo.

A slew of bad years for E3, in the early 2010’s. Sony got close, again, with “The Last of Us” winning a lot of awards. But no one was coming out of that week long show talking about anything but “Watch Dogs.” It turned out to be all lies and smoke and mirrors, and ultimately was a mediocre “GTA” knock-off, but there was no denying its impact on how we viewed the lengthy PS3/360 generation, and how appetizing “the next generation” truly was. It was so mouth watering, we could taste it. It was so close!

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Who Won E3 2013?

Do we even need to discuss this?

I don’t remember a single fucking thing after that, but you don’t need to do much if you’re Sony. They might as well just have announced the price, and ended the show two hours early. Who cares about launch line-ups or “Titanfall?”

Pack it up and leave — go home — it was over after that. That ended Don Mattrick’s whole career, do you know how hard it is to pull that off TWICE? First with Sega’s hardware division, then Microsoft’s Xbox leadership, hot damn that was cold-blooded! Just Google it, it’s right there!

If not for this, the guy who announced “Peggle 2” would have won.

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Who Won E3 2014?

Eiji Aonuma did.

Nintendo won E3. Period. Not that we should go by “who won and who lost” because that’s reductive, but after one of the worst E3’s in recent memory, Nintendo brought it, guys.

“Super Smash Bros.,” “Breath of the Wild,” “Bayonetta 2,” “Mario Maker,” and “Splatoon.” Nintendo might not ever have that kind of line-up ever again. And the other games at E3? Total horseshit!

“Evolve” won Game of the Show, that’s so laughable now, no one could take on “Evolve.” Ha!

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Check back soon for part three where we finally cover the death of E3 and the birth of the Keighley Empire.

Image Credit: PlayStation